Collie Flour: Popping the Iron Cupcake Cherry/Bacon

So last Monday was the Iron Cupcake Challenge in San Francisco, the one I wrote about a little while back. You know, the one with the challenge ingredient bacon?? That stuff I don't actually like, but tolerate (mostly after a hangover)? That stuff that somehow ends up being a topping on my potato or salad, even when I don't ask for it. That stuff that gives me heartburn and a stomach ache just thinking about? Ha! I was so committed to scoping out this iron cupcake thing, I decided to forgo my inhibitions and roll with it.

I had the perfect cupcake in mind, too, but didn't make it because I felt it was too risky to enter a competition I knew nothing about, using an ingredient I never eat. But I'll share my idea anyway. The inspiration: hawaiian pizza. The main ingredients: corn cupcake, ricotta cream cheese frosting, topped with pineapple and bacon bits. It is totally a home-run idea, if I don't say so myself. It came to me in the early morning hours when I was half asleep. I tend to get my best ideas when I'm sleeping :)

I told my friend Allyson about Iron Cupcake, and the upcoming challenge ingredient, and she responded with her eyes first- they got huge and twinkled- then she followed with "BACON.. aaaaannnddd..... CHOCOLATE." Adorable. She is a savage and planned to bake, even though she was a newbie just like me. The plan was to meet Ally at Leland Tea Company, where the challenge is held. She lives in the city and I was coming from Redwood City. As I exited the freeway, I saw she was calling.
"Hey Ally!! I'm almost there!"
"Hee eey Colleen (defeated)"
"UH OH WHAT'S WRONG!"
"I spent all day on my cupcakes, put them on the back of Spandy (scooter) to drive down to the place, checked them halfway there, and they were a mess... totally destroyed. So I came back home."
"OH NOOOOOOO!!! I'm so sorry!!!! Are you still coming? Please say yes!"
"Uh... yeah but can you give me a ride?"

So I drove down to her place to get her and she showed me her cupcakes. The poor things looked like they had been through a tornado. But I sampled one and it was DELICIOUS!!!!!!! Maple cupcake, custard filling, maple buttercream, chocolate drizzle, and a perfectly cooked, generous slice of bacon on each one. Such a shame. I can say with confidence now that she would have won with those little maple wonders.

We headed over to the venue and it was packed. At first I was intimidated.. so many people, a lot of them our age, looking all in-the-know, and surrounded by tea trays filled with mini cupcakes all packing a tremendous visual punch. The space was pretty cramped, and immediately the nice volunteers paired us with another girl to share our cupcake samples with. One by one, each group filled up their trays with one of each little cupcake. We were given a scorecard to judge based on appearance, taste, and creativity. I decided the most unbiased way to judge was to taste last.

First I judged appearance from the cupcakes on my tray. The majority of them were really cute. Some needed some serious help in the frosting presentation department.. bird poop splatters aren't cute, kids! But hey, I've never piped a mini cupcake, so I can't really judge.

Next, to judge on creativity, I went to each little tray where the baker's descriptions were laid out. Most people just used the provided cards to indicate the name and provide descriptions of their creations. It helped me understand the concept of each one, especially when it wasn't apparent with presentation. For example: elvis heads attached to toothpicks inserted in banana cupcakes with peanut butter frosting topped with bacon, indicated that these cupcakes were inspired by one of the king's favorite meals. Who knew! Gag.

Finally it was on to taste. As I mentioned, the space was crowded. Three of us needed to split each mini cupcake. There was no place to cut them. I didn't want to man handle each one, nor did I want anybody else to.. sharing germs with strangers.. gguuuhh. I found an open chair and began to slice, starting with the last cupcake first, and got through as many as possible before I just couldn't stand the feeling of claustrophobia and buttercream on my fingers any longer. I don't remember what the first bite felt like, but I know it wasn't as bad as I was expecting. A couple cupcakes in and I thought, "I can handle this! bring on the bacon!" Number 13 was a total surprise: cinnamon cupcake with vanilla buttercream and no bacon flavor. Immediately I knew the cake was martha's snickerdoodle cupcake, and I couldn't quite place the frosting but it was good and therefore probably also martha's. It was heavenly, but I couldn't help being annoyed that there wasn't a trace of bacon. A few more cupcakes in and I came close to spitting one out- can't remember what it was, but I believe it was a "bacon and eggs" theme. I was impressed to find only one corn cupcake, which was actually more of a muffin because it had no frosting.. still, I gave it high marks for originality. I really liked #6, it was maple inspired with the right amount of bacon and presented well with little chocolate maple leaves. #4 also got top marks from me, it was chocolate with bacon bits topped with maple buttercream some more bacon bits. Now, #2.. dear lord, save me. I took one bite and almost vomited. It crumbled in my mouth and my first thought was "grandma's closet!" I ran to spit it out, and returned saying, "oh god, grandma's closet! grandma's closet! moth balls!!!!!!" I didn't realize Ally was still sampling and she looked horrified that she was about to swallow. Honestly, it was the worst thing I've ever tasted. I'd rather eat those Harry Potter vomit jelly beans ANY DAY.

We waited for what seemed like an hour for the judges to tally the results. #6 got third place, I can't remember second place, and #13- the cheater!!! won!!! Apparently her concept was "french toast stuffed with bacon." Hmmmm. She won $120 to an acupuncture place, a bottle of wine, a gift certificate to a bakery, and some other random stuff. I was a little disappointed; sure she had a great tasting cupcake, but I really hope the next time the winner is somebody who's cupcake not only tastes fabulous, but more closely resembles the theme. And let me tell you, I can't wait for next time!!! I really had a fabulous time!

*all of these pictures were taken by Ally (she's got mad photography skills)

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