Obsessed

I'm still pregnant. It feels like this will never end. I'm not uncomfortable or experiencing any noteworthy symptoms.. mostly I'm just lazy and feeling overweight. I've been avoiding baking anything because I know I won't be able to stop myself from eating at least half of whatever I make. For example, last month, I was craving a funfetti cupcake, the delicious kind made from store bought mix and topped with rainbow chip frosting. Some bakers would be ashamed to admit it, but to this day, funfetti is still my favorite cupcake ever. So anyway, I make the cupcakes, and over the next three days, eat an entire dozen. Then I had the nerve to complain about gaining 8lbs that month. It's a sick cycle.

Then I got a Pinterest account. Worst plan ever. I am used to scouring the web looking for recipes that appear to be delicious, based on reviews or an amazing ingredient list. Rarely do those recipes come with beautiful shiny photos of baking perfection. Needless to say, choosing a good recipe this way takes thoughtfulness and serious inspection- two things I've been living without for 7 months. But apparently, I'm just like the 2 million other "pinners" on Pinterest- visual. I log in and see cakes, cupcakes, brownies, mud pies, and combinations of things I never thought of, all photographed to absolute perfection. Suddenly, it doesn't matter if the link to the recipe lurking behind the photo is good. I need it. Now.

Instantly I became obsessed with making the best red velvet cupcake ever. I have been working on this for a couple of years but never quite got there. There were a few hits, and a lot of misses. The hits turned into misses because the color just wasn't right. I'd find Brad asking, "what is that?" or if they were light chocolate cupcakes.. fail. The misses were just wrong all and together bad. I once made a huge cake out of red velvet and the layers from different batches of batter were all different colors and flavors. I liken it to my mashed potatoes.. I never quite remember how I made it the last time so I get something different every time. I've even tried writing the recipe down afterward, only to have it fail me in the future.

When I saw people on pinterest pinning bright red red velvet cupcakes, etc., right around Valentine's day, I knew something had to be done. I couldn't sit back and let those monstrosities win. I can't tell you how many absolutely beautiful, "professional," striking, and nearly bleeding-red red velvet cupcakes I've experienced crumble, turn to goo, choke me, or taste like wet chalk. And it's usually the really red ones that suck. Red velvet is the most ambiguous flavor that it seems people think anything goes as long as its red. To me though, it is supposed to resemble moist chocolate cake and be able carry a fluffy cream cheese frosting, but not taste like chocolate or vanilla- it's supposed to be a glorious combination of both. Kind of like a marble cake after you've chewed it all up, but less dense. That kind of sounds gross! Ha. Well, it's not for everybody.

But, people, I did it. Taste, color, texture, everything.. I made the best red velvet cake ever. And I know exactly how I did it because I wrote down every stinkin step as I did it. I can't give all my secrets away, but I will tell you a lot had to do with finding the right red food coloring (hint: gel, not wilton's), and not skipping out on the vinegar. I only made 12 and had just one (yay!!)! Then I brought the other 11 to work and they were gone within an hour- fyi only 5 people from my office were in that day. One very picky cupcaker told me it was the best cupcake he ever had. A few other people said the same, but it meant the most coming from picky eater man. It was also fun to watch people come back for seconds and not be ashamed at all.

I'm a loser and only got one picture of them cooling on their rack. I wanted to take another photo of cutting into one, but I ate it right before I weighed in at the doc's (sigh) and then it was off to work.


My camera phone is awful and turned these purple, so I will not be pinning this on to pinterest but I don't care. I'll continue to use the site for visual inspiration but stick to my own recipes.

I hope I can make one for YOU soon!!